This is a post about the three basic rules of crisis communications and how a week just doesn’t go by these days (or so it seems) in which we aren’t witness to either complete disregard for, or blatant violation of, these PR basics.

The rules are:

1. Tell the truth

2. Tell it all

3. Tell it now

Easy to remember. Easy to say. Not so easy to follow, evidently. I haven’t cared much about some of the more recent and notable examples of companies, politicians and athletes (and their PR firms) who don’t seem to know or remember these rules because, frankly, a Governor disappearing on the Appalachian Trail or to Argentina or to the moon or wherever with his mistress just isn’t that interesting to me.

That was until last week. Last week was a sad one for Red Sox Nation. Boston Red Sox DH, clubhouse leader, ninth-inning hero, and all-around mensch David Ortiz was implicated as a user of performance enhancing drugs in the 2003 investigation led by Former Secretary of State George Mitchell. Big Papi was on the list! NOOoooooo …

[pause here to gather myself]

See, I’m a sports fan. Among professional sports I am a baseball fan first. And to me there is only the Boston Red Sox. I am a lifelong citizen of the Nation. My family is multi-generational that way. My grandfather, an immigrant to this country in 1919, embraced baseball and the Red Sox almost immediately as a way to Americanize himself. Both my parents grew up in Western Massachusetts, a stronghold of the Fenway Faithful. My wife’s family is from Boston’s South Shore … ’nuff said. If nothing else, damn it, my kids are going follow suit. My first live experience with professional baseball was at Game 2 of the ‘75 World Series (my father, grandfather, cousin and me — Sox lost 3-2 with a long rain delay. Didn’t care. At all.) We live in Red Sox country and most of us at KG Partners are fans. Yes, sadly, we have a few followers of the soulless, evil empire (the one with the new soulless, overpriced stadium a couple hundred miles southwest of here). For this we make them feel pretty bad about themselves. That’s a matter of policy (see chapter three of our employee handbook).

Speaking of the Yankees, the same thing happened to Alex Rodriguez earlier this year. That was a big deal too, but it was tempered by the fact that most baseball fans already see A-Rod as, well, a punk. Guilty before proven innocent. That’s what happens when you go on “60 Minutes”, deny it, then get caught and have to admit it. Manny Ramirez, Papi’s teammate and partner in their 3-4 power combo for all those years was also implicated in the same leak last week. But, nothing but a collective yawn could be heard in New England after that news (Manny left Boston last year on not-so-friendly terms with fans and was caught red-handed for steroid use earlier this season.)

But Ortiz? How could this be? He’s one of the good guys. A straight shooter, right? Never pimped his run around the bases no matter how dramatic the homer. Never mouthed off. Never complained about playing hurt. It is very, very (very) hard to become a “favorite” sports figure in Boston, but Ortiz was able to pull it off — something to do with helping his team win not one, but two World Series titles after an 86-year drought.

Now they have me. I’m paying full attention to this scandal. I rifle each morning through three newspapers for more reporting and analysis on the story, watch local, national and cable news, scour the Internet … maybe waiting for the report to be rescinded by The New York Times (riiiiiight). And, did I really think the hometown hero would actually stand up and: a. tell the truth, b. tell it all, and c. tell it now? I was kinda hoping….

Back to Earth.

Only David Ortiz (and maybe his lawyers and suppliers) know for sure what he did or did not do. It’s simple - he either did or he didn’t take steroids. It’s one or the other. No third choice. David Ortiz, just like every other player in the same situation, has only two options: tell the truth and come clean, or don’t. If he took steroids but says he didn’t then he’s lying (see rule #1). If he didn’t take steroids, then there’s really no lie to be told and he should volunteer to take an immediate drug test and be done with it (this is close to what he suggested to the media about steroid use in MLB before the season began this year … oops).

But here’s the thing: at a point in any crisis — which happens in about the amount of time it takes a baseball to get over the Green Monster — what really happened doesn’t quite matter. At that point, we all assume he did it. In fact, we’re sure he did and we get more convinced every time he opens his mouth and says something other than, “I didn’t do it and I will take a test right now to prove it.” Or, alternatively, “I did it, I’m sorry, and I will take a test right now to prove that I am now clean.”

Either way, this is how a PR crisis moves to its conclusion faster and with a much better result for all. That way we will all re-learn how to feel good (even great) about him, Baseball and ourselves. Any statement, especially the long ones, that says anything else only prolongs the issue (we want it to go away), ensures that the media will pay closer attention for a longer time (again, make it go way), and makes it harder to dig out of a reputational hole.

This is an issue that sports, government, business and our free-press society will be dealing with for a long time. Crisis victims and perpetrators alike all wish the media wouldn’t dwell on their misfortunes, mistakes and mismanagement as much as it likes to. We can help ourselves, however. Remember the conversation with your mom or dad when the baseball, Frisbee or, in my case, basketball went through the window? Even on that level we knew the outcome could be either unhappy but quick, or really unhappy and really long. It all depended on our choice to tell the truth, tell it all and tell it now. Or not. How soon we forget.

-Dave Goldberg

Once in a (great) while we like to pat ourselves on the back. This is one of those times.

For the fifth year in a row, KG Partners walked away a big winner at the Transportation Marketing & Communications Association (TMCA) Annual Conference & Expo, held this year in La Jolla. This year we took home five TMCA Compass Awards for the work the agency produced with our client, Con-way (NYSE:CNW).

The Compass Awards recognize members of the North American transportation and logistics industry that have created innovative, results-oriented marketing and communications programs.

We must admit we’re starting to feel a bit like Roger Federer in that NetJets commercial…except for the jet part, we don’t have one of those.

Is this good marketing or not?

Have you seen the Chevy Silverado ad on TV that ridicules the tailgate step on the Ford F-150? It has been running a lot lately during network prime time. The step is an optional piece of equipment on the Ford. It folds down from an open tailgate to help people get up onto, or down from, the bed of the truck (see the picture below right). It looks like a useful innovation with a hint of gimmick thrown in.

The :30 spot stars Howie Long — former Raiders defensive lineman, NFL Hall of Famer, commensurate pitchman and all around stud — a guy’s guy. The ad is set in what seems to be a lumberyard. The spot starts with Howie loading the back of his Chevy Silverado while noticing an overweight and not very surefooted guy scampering down from the bed of his F-150 using the aforementioned retractable step. It’s awkward. It’s a bit pathetic actually. If you saw this in real life you might feel compelled to lend him a hand. The whole scene makes you think of the fat kid on the playground. After stepping down onto the ground, he starts walking toward the cab of his truck when Howie, standing tall, says, “Hey buddy, you left your ‘man step’ down” in a sarcastic and patronizing tone. He may as well have said, “Hey fat wimpy boy, can’t climb down off the jungle gym??” The now-embarrassed Ford owner stops and again scampers back to the tailgate to fold up the step. The scene ends with Howie slamming shut (with emphasis) the tailgate of his truck. The gritty truck-ad voiceover then asks viewers if they’d rather have a Ford with a man step or (be a real man and) get a Chevy. Generally undifferentiated product attributes follow until the spot ends. Now that you’ve heard my long description, Here’s a link to the ad.

I can’t decide whether this ad is brilliantly targeted at guys who may in fact be the “Ford fatty” but desperately want to associate with the Howie Longs of the World, or simply low-road, schoolyard bullying? Is Chevy targeting bullies or the bullied? The ad taps into the currently popular vein of guy humor that sarcastically calls out feminine behavior or traits — all in good fun and usually reserved for bonding around the backyard grill, the pool table or ESPN. Example: “Hey, that’s a nice shirt, do they sell mens’ clothes there, too?”, or “I’ve always wanted a manbag like that.” Funny stuff, I have to admit. Calling the Ford tailgate feature a “man step” is the same thing … kinda funny.

But in this ad, the guy on the Ford isn’t portrayed as some yuppie suburbanite who owns a pickup because he’s playing to a working man’s hero self image. To the contrary, he’s portrayed as a guy who’s been working hard all day. He’s wearing work clothes and gloves and is clearly doing some heavy lifting. This guys works for a living. His problem, however, is that he’s not Howie Long (actually, Howie Long isn’t very much Howie Long these days either … look closely). He’s not six-foot-whatever and didn’t record 91.5 sacks over his career. Basically, Howie is being a $#!!&. I know that Howie is a paid actor here, but is this what Howie really wants his personal brand to stand for? If not for the man step, I think this guy would have fallen off the truck and broken a rib or something. I feel bad for the guy, not just for being “that guy” but for being ridiculed for it (by Howie who, I guarantee, hasn’t personally loaded his truck at a lumberyard since forever.)

So is this good, smart strategy on GM’s part, or will it backfire? Seems there’s a lot of that at GM these days.

- Dave Goldberg

In classic blog fashion (classic?), I’m going to blog about an article I just read that was written by someone else who was reporting on a story about something that already happened…

It’s about that unfortunate incident at a North Carolina Domino’s pizza franchise — the one that was recorded on video and posted on YouTube for the entire online world to see — and then bled into the off-line world of TV, radio, print, etc. It was unsettling to say the least and you can see it yourself on YouTube. Basically, a sandwich maker stuck a piece of cheese up his nose and then placed it on a customer’s sandwich … lots of laughter in the background. Then he faux-farted (I think) on a piece of salami for placement on said sandwich. More laughter. Definitely makes you think twice about ordering from Domino’s or any delivery food company for that matter. Disgusting.*

That said, a blogger whose post I read shortly after the whole thing came down predicted the end of the Dominoes brand — 50 years in the making, brought down in a minute. I personally think that conclusion goes too far. A bad mark on the brand, yes. Its complete demise? Not from a single video made by a couple of dumb kids at a store in North Carolina, even if it did spread like the plague on the internet.

As you’d expect, PR Week covered Domino’s now-much maligned PR response to the incident on the cover of its April 20th issue. The headline: “Crisis forces Domino’s to revamp social media plan.” The article covers Domino’s typical and very corporate crisis tactics: fire the employees, contain the story to those already aware, put out a statement…you know the drill. But, they didn’t reach out into the broader online world. They neglected the very community who were most exposed to, and at most risk from, the video (not to mention those who had accelerated the virility of it in the first place.) It wasn’t until some unbelievable amount of time after the video broke — 48 hours! — that Domino’s changed strategy (note to self: write a post about how ridiculously fast we’re expected to move these days.)

Let’s see what the folks at Domino’s might have been thinking here: brand crisis starts and grows exponentially online via social media … What to do, what do do … got it! Let’s issue a press release. Brilliant. They finally got some good advice from none other than their ad agency who evidently could no longer stand idly by and watch its client implode. The article calls out that Domino’s doesn’t have professional PR agency representation. Instead, all PR is handled in-house. They go it alone.

This brings me to my point (finally!) I am sure Domino’s has very talented PR pros inside the company. I have nothing but respect for internal PR resources. Many of our PR clients are in-house professionals who do excellent work and, so as not to throw myself under the bus, I used to have one of those internal PR departments at a really big company. But the big lesson here is this: in times of crisis (and during the good times too) use a PR firm people!!!. Internal PR pros know their employers’ businesses well and will fall on a sword to protect its reputation. This is their job. PR firms recognize hard-to-see opportunities and risk, and bring to the table points of view that internal resources sometimes can’t because they’re too close to the company. This is our job. Together, we have all angles covered. Working as a cohesive team we can generate more creative ideas, execute with more accuracy and, having seen both sides of the world myself, generate better, more meaningful results.

This is especially true during crises when internal PR departments are often too busy fighting brush fires and taking direction from (many) different people to pause and look at the situation objectively. In Domino’s case, the fact that the “classic” corporate response was, as we say, a sound only a dog could hear, was lost on everyone inside. If Domino’s had professional, third-party PR representation before the cheese-up-the-nose scandal they would have most likely: a. had a crisis communications plan in place that most certainly would have included social media outreach and, b. had a partner on whom to rely to solve complex PR problems in the heat of the flames while they manned the hoses. This works, trust me.

Conclusion: if you’re an inside marketing/PR manager who is charged with stewarding the reputation of your company and the value of your brand (one that took millions or perhaps billions of dollars to build), think seriously about searching for, and securing, a PR firm — crisis specialists or full-service — whatever fits your needs. Or, think about your life the day your brand gets devastated by a YouTube video or the night following the report on NBC Nightly News. No thank you.

* As a very serious, grown-up marketing professional I am obviously troubled by the brand crisis and vast public relations storm that ensued for Domino’s. But if I put myself in the shoes of a 17 year-old kid working late at night at a pizza place with nothing to do but make sandwiches? … ok, kinda funny. No excuse mind you (but funny). Hey, if this happened in a Farrelly Brothers movie we’d all be howling with laughter.

-Dave Goldberg

KG Partners is helping to launch The National Football Post, a blog conceived and managed by four NFL insiders who, together, provide other-worldly insight and analysis of professional football — from the inside out. It is truly the “Wall Street Journal” of professional football media. Seriously. Check out www.nationalfootballpost.com.

Andrew Brandt, president of The National Football Post, for example, was VP of the Green Bay Packers for nine years through this past season, managing all player contracts and salary cap issues. Note: during Andrew’s tenure in Green Bay, the team had the highest winning percentage in the NFL! Talk about a guy who definitely knows how the Brett Favre deal must have come down.

A quick non sequitur…turns out Andrew was a bartender at Quigley’s, a pub in D.C. that my friends and I used to frequent - and I mean frequent - when I was at American University (this was the early ’80s kids, the drinking age was still eighteen). I’m positive he served me and my friends more than once. Now that he’s a client I’m wondering if we tipped him adequately (probably not). I asked him and he doesn’t remember either. <whew>

Anyway, other principals (and bloggers) include Mike Lombardi, a 23-year executive with five NFL teams, SI writer and elite blogger in his own right; player agents Joe Fortenbaugh and Mike Bechta (the latter also a successful TV producer, e.g., Super Agent and No Fear); and Matt Bowen, a seven-year NFL player and well-known journalist.

The site officially launches tomorrow (8/11). We’re doing the PR for the site, plus SEO, SEM and online advertising. A blast so far.

Here’s Mike Reiss’ piece in today’s Sunday Boston Globe. Andrew also did a Saturday interview with ESPN radio.

Definitely bookmark the site. As the 2008 NFL season gets into the starting blocks, keep reading The National Football Post.

Dave Goldberg